This is a weird one. It has a very weird origin. The first batch of songs I tried recording made it to digital multi-track audio in summer of 1998. Later that year, during the Christmas break from school, I had borrowed a keyboard from my high school, and it occurred to me to set out a challenge for myself. I had recently read Richie Unterberger’s book, Unknown Legends of Rock ‘N’ Roll, and I had read about how Alexander “Skip” Spence had emerged from Belmont and recorded all the instruments and vocals for his 1969 album Oar in one week, and that the album had a “spooked-out, bare-light-bulb-in-a-room” feel to them.
With that, I set out of a mission for myself–I would record a complete album in one week, or at least, before I had to return the keyboard to the high school, so I could use the electronic piano sound on it. The first track was recorded on December 25, 1998, and the final track, an overture comprised of pieces of the other tracks, was recorded on January 1, 1999. There were three instrumentals, seven vocal songs, ten tracks in total, about forty minutes long. I mixed it without reverb so it would have a very sparse, lo-fi sound to it.
The songs turned out to be this emotional bildungsroman, with an emotional story arc to them, and this song, “Holiday,” represented a period where the protagonist was admitting that his current period of self-indulgence was admittedly an avoidance of responsibility for one’s self as well as one’s responsibilities towards others.
I re-recorded this one in 2000-01, then again in Fall 2018-Winter 2019, and then again in March, 2020, and I finished that version in May, 2020. That’s what’s on 2022’s Self Confidence. The chords have evolved slightly over the years. If I ever get the inspiration to re-record that teenage bildungsroman album as a weird lo-fi project, I’d be re-doing this one with its original rock band arrangement, with electric piano and organ, and heavy on drum fills.
The lyrics:
Verse 1
The days have almost reached that time of year
And when that time is coming near
It feels like all the things I feel will soon be gone
That feeling I get, it’s one of a kind
It’s as if I’m about to find
All the required peace of mind to carry on
Chorus:
I’m going on a holiday and everyone can come
I’m going on a holiday and everyone can come
Verse 2:
It seems just like a sentimental dream
Inside which everybody seems
To be replenished and redeemed all by themselves
The smiles on the faces all around
And all the happy, laughing sounds
A place where nobody is down or needs my help
(Chorus)
Bridge:
I’ll fall asleep in the sunshine
I’ll play in the snow
The weather’s always perfect
No matter where you go
There may not be perfection
But this is close enough
Whatever dreams are made of
I think this is the stuff
Verse 3:
I almost hate to think this time will end
Because there’s no better way to spend
A lifetime with no pains to mend or soothe or heal
For time here seems to drift off into space
Because there’s something in this place
For which I can’t seem to erase the way I feel
(Chorus)
Here’s a video of “Holiday” with the lyrics as subtitles, and with Winamp’s EQ as its display.
